My interview with the Chamber of Commerce went well and I will hear back from the manager sometime this week about whether or not I am hired. I hope I am! I will have a lot to learn and it will be challenging, but I like challenges.
I am very lonely today and missing my New Sarepta ladies. I am feeling the separation and loss a lot today.
-Elisa.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A Good Day! Hoorah!
I have a job interview on Friday! Hoorah, praise God! I dropped my resume off at the Brooks and District Chamber of Commerce and the manager looked over it and immediately asked me to come in for an interview on Friday. Amazing!
I also saw a friend from high school/Bible school who I hadn't seen in a long time and it was great to be able to talk with her again and I am excited to be back in contact with her after an entire year of pseudo-conversation on Facebook. And I saw a woman from my church who has become one of my good friends this past year and is part of my "support group" who prays for me daily and gives me amazing hugs and advice whenever she sees me. It was a good day, and it was all because of God.
I have a few prayer requests:
-that my interview will go well on Friday (and praise that I have an interview!)
-that I will stop having such vivid dreams every night (this entire week I've been dreaming again so I wake up exhausted and sad)
-safety for my brother as he is with his school choir in Edmonton and driving home tomorrow
Thanks!
Here's a song that is purely piano and utterly beautiful. Enjoy!
Comptine d'un Autre Été from the movie "Amelie"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBZPa-kLLCE
-Elisa.
I also saw a friend from high school/Bible school who I hadn't seen in a long time and it was great to be able to talk with her again and I am excited to be back in contact with her after an entire year of pseudo-conversation on Facebook. And I saw a woman from my church who has become one of my good friends this past year and is part of my "support group" who prays for me daily and gives me amazing hugs and advice whenever she sees me. It was a good day, and it was all because of God.
I have a few prayer requests:
-that my interview will go well on Friday (and praise that I have an interview!)
-that I will stop having such vivid dreams every night (this entire week I've been dreaming again so I wake up exhausted and sad)
-safety for my brother as he is with his school choir in Edmonton and driving home tomorrow
Thanks!
Here's a song that is purely piano and utterly beautiful. Enjoy!
Comptine d'un Autre Été from the movie "Amelie"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBZPa-kLLCE
-Elisa.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I Believe In Love
Music helps me to hold onto hope. It is amazing to know that God directed someone that I will never meet to write the words that would touch my heart and bring me back to my place at His feet. He knows what I need to hear and He planned for someone else to write the words and the melody that would bring me comfort. The musician will never know, but God chose them to bring me peace and to bless my life with their gift. The following song is my heart in a nutshell lately. The first link is to a video of Alyssa Barlow explaining the inspiration for the song and it's a pretty cool clip.
"I Believe in Love" by BarlowGirl
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe."
That's what it comes down to right now: I believe, and God is faithful.
-Elisa.
"I Believe in Love" by BarlowGirl
"How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
Though I can't see my story's ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
Though I can't see my story's ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent
I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe."
That's what it comes down to right now: I believe, and God is faithful.
-Elisa.
Monday, May 3, 2010
A Battlefield
I am struggling to express myself right now or introduce my thoughts in a coherent manner, so I may as well just start off without any introduction.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She knew there was a threat coming, but she did not know the form that it would take, nor what manner in which it would arrive, nor when it would arrive. She only knew that the threat was alive and coming closer. In the first hours of that morning, she knew "when" had arrived because there was silence from the other side. Truly, the silence before the storm.
The hours that followed were filled with dread and panicked calls to command centres asking for help in whatever form was available. The other side had finally asked one simple request, which she knew meant the end. And she waited, unable to flee from the coming storm and hoping that something would happen to possibly avert disaster, but time sped her towards a darkness that she had prayed against for weeks.
She watched the darkness approach, unable to believe the enormity and reality of it. Every muscle in her body screamed for her to flee from this storm, but the darkness held her tight and she had nowhere to run. Her fists pounded at the darkness til she was exhausted, but it was unmoving and silent in the face of her pleas for mercy or more time.
And then the bomb fell, shattering the darkness and revealing the victims. In the brilliance of the blast, she could see the outcome and the carnage for an instant before clouds of smoke engulfed the vision and left her choking for breath. Flames ate her bones and sought to burn her heart, turning water droplets into steam before they could touch her and bring salvation or healing.
As the weeks passed, the flames were subdued but their presence remained, smoldering among the victims and occasionally grabbing at her heart again. They were still hungry, but now streams of water were flowing in to douse them and protect her vulnerability. But she couldn't see the one who provided these streams because the smoke obscured her vision. When it cleared momentarily, she could finally see the victims and, in those moments, she fell into the flames' grasps again.
The victims littered the area where the bomb had fallen, creating a battlefield where no war had been fought. Hopes, dreams, friends, family had all been lost in the blast and lay in pieces, surrounding her. Flames created a barrier between her and these victims, burning her every time she reached to put them back together. And so she wandered the battlefield, lost in the haze that made everything grey and fought to understand and to accept.
And the silence from the other side continued, changing only in its magnitude. It was everywhere and in everything, because the other side was gone. She could not find an enemy to fight or rail against; she was forced to accept the totality of what the bomb had done in her life and future. She was forced to accept.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I apologize for the incoherency and spelling or grammatical errors. I tend to write with my eyes closed and rarely edit things. It makes it more of a catharsis if I just let it come out "as is."
-Elisa.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She knew there was a threat coming, but she did not know the form that it would take, nor what manner in which it would arrive, nor when it would arrive. She only knew that the threat was alive and coming closer. In the first hours of that morning, she knew "when" had arrived because there was silence from the other side. Truly, the silence before the storm.
The hours that followed were filled with dread and panicked calls to command centres asking for help in whatever form was available. The other side had finally asked one simple request, which she knew meant the end. And she waited, unable to flee from the coming storm and hoping that something would happen to possibly avert disaster, but time sped her towards a darkness that she had prayed against for weeks.
She watched the darkness approach, unable to believe the enormity and reality of it. Every muscle in her body screamed for her to flee from this storm, but the darkness held her tight and she had nowhere to run. Her fists pounded at the darkness til she was exhausted, but it was unmoving and silent in the face of her pleas for mercy or more time.
And then the bomb fell, shattering the darkness and revealing the victims. In the brilliance of the blast, she could see the outcome and the carnage for an instant before clouds of smoke engulfed the vision and left her choking for breath. Flames ate her bones and sought to burn her heart, turning water droplets into steam before they could touch her and bring salvation or healing.
As the weeks passed, the flames were subdued but their presence remained, smoldering among the victims and occasionally grabbing at her heart again. They were still hungry, but now streams of water were flowing in to douse them and protect her vulnerability. But she couldn't see the one who provided these streams because the smoke obscured her vision. When it cleared momentarily, she could finally see the victims and, in those moments, she fell into the flames' grasps again.
The victims littered the area where the bomb had fallen, creating a battlefield where no war had been fought. Hopes, dreams, friends, family had all been lost in the blast and lay in pieces, surrounding her. Flames created a barrier between her and these victims, burning her every time she reached to put them back together. And so she wandered the battlefield, lost in the haze that made everything grey and fought to understand and to accept.
And the silence from the other side continued, changing only in its magnitude. It was everywhere and in everything, because the other side was gone. She could not find an enemy to fight or rail against; she was forced to accept the totality of what the bomb had done in her life and future. She was forced to accept.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I apologize for the incoherency and spelling or grammatical errors. I tend to write with my eyes closed and rarely edit things. It makes it more of a catharsis if I just let it come out "as is."
-Elisa.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Grace Greater Than Niagra Falls!
I had a pretty cool brainwave this morning while driving to church. Even though I am five hours away from some of my dearest friends in New Sarepta, I can praise the same God with them on Sunday mornings at the same time because we are all a part of the body of Christ and our God is everywhere, all the time! I am able to worship the God of all creation with my friends, no matter where we are because we are all in Him! I find that really amazing and an incredible blessing, especially when I am feeling lonely here in Gem.
I also had an answer to prayer this morning at church. While I was getting ready for church this morning, I told God that I hoped Changed (a worship team at my church) was playing and that they would play some of my favorite songs because it would be so encouraging. When I got to church and was walking in, I heard Changed playing and then for congregational singing they had chosen my absolute favorite song, Stuart Townend and Keith Getty's "In Christ Alone."
Pastor Barry preached on Ephesians 1:7-10 this morning and I wanted to share what I learned because I found it so refreshing and uplifting! Truly, God answers prayer and He knows what my heart needs.
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to use the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment--to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ."
Barry pointed out that we are doubly Christ's because He created us and then He saved us again by sacrificing Himself for us. He bought us back from sin and death by giving up His life for us, which is redemption. Christ has removed our sin from us as far as the east is from the west, He has flung them from us and they no longer exist. Even though we will never fully get away from our sin because we are human, we can still rejoice in the fact that Jesus' blood covers our sin and we are saved. When God looks at me, He does not see my sin but sees instead the atoning blood of His Son on my life. That's really cool! And God pours grace upon grace upon grace onto our lives and His grace will never run dry! The Niagra Falls will run dry first. I found that to be such an eye-opening thought. I saw the Niagra Falls once as a child and it was overwhelming to think of all the water that flows over those falls. It has been flowing for years and will continue until God stops them up, yet God's grace is even more limitless than those falls! He is worthy of praise.
Anyways, I have some letters to write so I am going to leave a link to an amazing song and I hope that you're having a blessed day.
Jeremy Camp, "Healing Hand of God"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-aE7zQTeEg
-Elisa.
I also had an answer to prayer this morning at church. While I was getting ready for church this morning, I told God that I hoped Changed (a worship team at my church) was playing and that they would play some of my favorite songs because it would be so encouraging. When I got to church and was walking in, I heard Changed playing and then for congregational singing they had chosen my absolute favorite song, Stuart Townend and Keith Getty's "In Christ Alone."
Pastor Barry preached on Ephesians 1:7-10 this morning and I wanted to share what I learned because I found it so refreshing and uplifting! Truly, God answers prayer and He knows what my heart needs.
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to use the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment--to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ."
Barry pointed out that we are doubly Christ's because He created us and then He saved us again by sacrificing Himself for us. He bought us back from sin and death by giving up His life for us, which is redemption. Christ has removed our sin from us as far as the east is from the west, He has flung them from us and they no longer exist. Even though we will never fully get away from our sin because we are human, we can still rejoice in the fact that Jesus' blood covers our sin and we are saved. When God looks at me, He does not see my sin but sees instead the atoning blood of His Son on my life. That's really cool! And God pours grace upon grace upon grace onto our lives and His grace will never run dry! The Niagra Falls will run dry first. I found that to be such an eye-opening thought. I saw the Niagra Falls once as a child and it was overwhelming to think of all the water that flows over those falls. It has been flowing for years and will continue until God stops them up, yet God's grace is even more limitless than those falls! He is worthy of praise.
Anyways, I have some letters to write so I am going to leave a link to an amazing song and I hope that you're having a blessed day.
Jeremy Camp, "Healing Hand of God"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-aE7zQTeEg
-Elisa.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Hold My Heart
Kristyn posted a link and the lyrics to "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North in the comments area on yesterday's post and I am putting them here because this song is amazing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z52WaOr1-g
"How long must I pray, must I pray to you?
How long must I wait, must I wait for you?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me
I'm on my knees, Father, will You turn to me?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
won't You come close and hold my heart?
I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why
'Cause I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father, will You run to me?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
won't You come close and hold my heart?
So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking tear?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
won't You come close and hold my heart?
Hold my heart, could You hold my heart?
Hold my heart"
Today is one month. It feels like it's only been moments since it was ended, but it also feels like years since I have seen him.
-Elisa.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z52WaOr1-g
"How long must I pray, must I pray to you?
How long must I wait, must I wait for you?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me
I'm on my knees, Father, will You turn to me?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
won't You come close and hold my heart?
I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why
'Cause I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father, will You run to me?
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
won't You come close and hold my heart?
So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name
One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking tear?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
won't You come close and hold my heart?
Hold my heart, could You hold my heart?
Hold my heart"
Today is one month. It feels like it's only been moments since it was ended, but it also feels like years since I have seen him.
-Elisa.
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