Dragons! (now there's an attention-grabbing title...)

Currently, I am reading through The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis and I am on the fourth book, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. It has been said that Aslan, the great Lion, is a metaphor for Jesus. I have been keeping that in mind while I read and it is interesting to see how Lewis works his metaphor into every book and into every character, in some way. The most interesting passage to me is found in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and I stumbled upon it this evening so I thought I would share it with whomever is reading this. (Bear with me, as it's a fairly long passage.)

To provide some background, Eustace is the one speaking and he is explaining about how Aslan (whom he does not know about) has returned him to his human state, after being trapped as a dragon for several days. Eustace was a "beastly" boy and he complained about everything and everyone else, but he could do no wrong in his own eyes. He was made into a dragon because of his selfish and dragonish thoughts. So, onwards with the passage!

"So at last we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden--trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it there was a well.
...The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me that I must undress first.
...I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. ...So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully... In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.
But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means that I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe. Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg...Then the lion said, 'You will have to let me undress you.'
...The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that mde me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off.
...Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off--just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt--and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been."

After this, Aslan throws Eustace into the well so that he can bathe and he realizes that he is a boy again, instead of a dragon. Aslan gives Eustace new clothes to wear and returns him to his friends.

What I found interesting about this passage is how it mirrors what Christ does to/for believers. He peels back our "skin" of sin and makes us a new creation in Him. He calls himself "living water" and we are called to put off our old selves and be made new in Him. Honestly, though, I can't get rid of my sin by myself. I know how wretched and awful I am and those are on my good days. It is only through Jesus that I can actually be free from my sin and be made new, perfected in Him. I won't be perfect on this earth, but someday He will return and then I will be perfected for eternity. I long for that day.

Jesus is continually peeling back the layers of sin in my life and it hurts. It cuts to my heart, and it's hard to lie still and submit to the cleansing. But it has to be done if I want to be free from my dragon-heart and thoughts.

Anyways, those were just some thoughts that I had while I was reading. Have a lovely evening!

-Elisa.

A Starry Sky

I got sunburn today. It hurts a lot, which is probably not the best thing but it also means that summer is coming!!! Hooray, hoorah! Actually, summer is usually not my favorite because it means that there are mosquitoes and ridiculous amounts of heat, but I love summer nights. It's amazing to be able to sit out on the deck with a cup of tea and a light blanket, and just look at the stars. Just gaze at God's artwork and grandeur. I drove a friend home after we had an evening of catching up (awesome!) and I stayed outside after I parked my car. The sky was totally clear and there was just a gentle breeze, so I could hear the birds singing their last songs before going to bed, and I could hear the cows calling their calves to them for the night. And the sky was full of stars! Sometimes I can hardly believe that they are real! It was so beautiful and peaceful. It's amazing to think that the stars are only a fraction of what God can do and the grandeur that He can create.


Psalm 150
"Praise the Lord.

Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and the lyre,
praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with the strings and flute,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord."

-Elisa.

One Day at a Time

Well, it is another day. It was a rough weekend, and I am searching and only coming up with a lot of questions and no answers. I want to be done this season of life, and onto the hope/joy of the future. But I have to go through the valley to get to that point. I'm tired of seeing mountains on either side of me, blocking me view of the things on the other side and my destination. I don't have the energy to climb the mountains right now, but the road back has caved in. So...I guess I have to go onwards.

"One Day at a Time" by Jeremy Camp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyUrpBVcWOY

"One day at a time I will walk this road I've traveled so far
One day at a time, well, I know I will carry on
One day at a time I can see You took my life this far
One day at a time I will take this faith along

All this hope I breathe is given by the hand that carries me
Until I'm complete and I'll take all I will
To understand this plan You have for me, for me

I've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel Your fullness in my life
Well I've been burned out, broken, torn out, torn down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel Your fullness in my life

One day at a time

One day at a time I will take these words You've given me
One day at a time I will rest in knowing You
One day at a time I will share this gift You've given me
One day at a time I will walk these valleys through

And all I know is that I see
How much my heart is longing to be cradled by Your side
Yeah, I'll give all I can
To one day soon be held by Your hand, by Your hand

I've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel Your fullness in my life
Well I've been burned out, broken, torn out, torn down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel Your fullness in my life

In all these things I will press on, yeah
I'll be with You, I know it won't be long

I've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel Your fullness in my life
Well I've been burned out, broken, torn out, torn down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel Your fullness in my life"

A Blue Day

My interview with the Chamber of Commerce went well and I will hear back from the manager sometime this week about whether or not I am hired. I hope I am! I will have a lot to learn and it will be challenging, but I like challenges.

I am very lonely today and missing my New Sarepta ladies. I am feeling the separation and loss a lot today.

-Elisa.

A Good Day! Hoorah!

I have a job interview on Friday! Hoorah, praise God! I dropped my resume off at the Brooks and District Chamber of Commerce and the manager looked over it and immediately asked me to come in for an interview on Friday. Amazing!

I also saw a friend from high school/Bible school who I hadn't seen in a long time and it was great to be able to talk with her again and I am excited to be back in contact with her after an entire year of pseudo-conversation on Facebook. And I saw a woman from my church who has become one of my good friends this past year and is part of my "support group" who prays for me daily and gives me amazing hugs and advice whenever she sees me. It was a good day, and it was all because of God.

I have a few prayer requests:
-that my interview will go well on Friday (and praise that I have an interview!)
-that I will stop having such vivid dreams every night (this entire week I've been dreaming again so I wake up exhausted and sad)
-safety for my brother as he is with his school choir in Edmonton and driving home tomorrow

Thanks!

Here's a song that is purely piano and utterly beautiful. Enjoy!

Comptine d'un Autre Été from the movie "Amelie"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBZPa-kLLCE

-Elisa.

I Believe In Love

Music helps me to hold onto hope. It is amazing to know that God directed someone that I will never meet to write the words that would touch my heart and bring me back to my place at His feet. He knows what I need to hear and He planned for someone else to write the words and the melody that would bring me comfort. The musician will never know, but God chose them to bring me peace and to bless my life with their gift. The following song is my heart in a nutshell lately. The first link is to a video of Alyssa Barlow explaining the inspiration for the song and it's a pretty cool clip.

"I Believe in Love" by BarlowGirl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Hc-DC8rWtQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvhRlW6A1gk

"How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Though I can't see my story's ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe."

That's what it comes down to right now: I believe, and God is faithful.

-Elisa.

A Battlefield

I am struggling to express myself right now or introduce my thoughts in a coherent manner, so I may as well just start off without any introduction.

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She knew there was a threat coming, but she did not know the form that it would take, nor what manner in which it would arrive, nor when it would arrive. She only knew that the threat was alive and coming closer. In the first hours of that morning, she knew "when" had arrived because there was silence from the other side. Truly, the silence before the storm.

The hours that followed were filled with dread and panicked calls to command centres asking for help in whatever form was available. The other side had finally asked one simple request, which she knew meant the end. And she waited, unable to flee from the coming storm and hoping that something would happen to possibly avert disaster, but time sped her towards a darkness that she had prayed against for weeks.

She watched the darkness approach, unable to believe the enormity and reality of it. Every muscle in her body screamed for her to flee from this storm, but the darkness held her tight and she had nowhere to run. Her fists pounded at the darkness til she was exhausted, but it was unmoving and silent in the face of her pleas for mercy or more time.

And then the bomb fell, shattering the darkness and revealing the victims. In the brilliance of the blast, she could see the outcome and the carnage for an instant before clouds of smoke engulfed the vision and left her choking for breath. Flames ate her bones and sought to burn her heart, turning water droplets into steam before they could touch her and bring salvation or healing.

As the weeks passed, the flames were subdued but their presence remained, smoldering among the victims and occasionally grabbing at her heart again. They were still hungry, but now streams of water were flowing in to douse them and protect her vulnerability. But she couldn't see the one who provided these streams because the smoke obscured her vision. When it cleared momentarily, she could finally see the victims and, in those moments, she fell into the flames' grasps again.

The victims littered the area where the bomb had fallen, creating a battlefield where no war had been fought. Hopes, dreams, friends, family had all been lost in the blast and lay in pieces, surrounding her. Flames created a barrier between her and these victims, burning her every time she reached to put them back together. And so she wandered the battlefield, lost in the haze that made everything grey and fought to understand and to accept.

And the silence from the other side continued, changing only in its magnitude. It was everywhere and in everything, because the other side was gone. She could not find an enemy to fight or rail against; she was forced to accept the totality of what the bomb had done in her life and future. She was forced to accept.
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I apologize for the incoherency and spelling or grammatical errors. I tend to write with my eyes closed and rarely edit things. It makes it more of a catharsis if I just let it come out "as is."

-Elisa.