finding my way back...

Sometimes life is overwhelming. I know that there things that I can smile about, but I just don't have the energy. I feel bad that I can't smile when I know I should and it makes me feel ungrateful. God has given me so much and yet I can't find happiness every moment. Sometimes it is just too much work and really all I want to do is sleep without having to worry about waking up and started the cycle of homework, class, meal, class, homework, etc again. I just want a moment of peace. Honest peace. Peace that overwhelms and floods my soul with a rest from the chaos that is occuring every second, every day. I feel like I am grasping for God, trying to find the way back to the joy from yesterday, but I just can't make it. I don't have the strength and I feel like God is letting me lie on the floor for a while, just watching me without picking me up. Maybe when I am on my face, I can actually pray for once, though...I just need life to slow down so I can pick up the pieces, examine them, and start putting them back together so I can be whole again.