Daylight, Save Me.

I am having trouble analyzing what I am feeling lately so I have avoided writing because I don't want to ramble and leave everyone else confused, as well. However, I find myself at a point right now where I cannot figure out what is going on by myself.

I am confused, hurt, desperate.
I am lost and wishing someone would stop by the roadside and be the good Samaritan.
I am stuck at this dead end in my head, staring at the crossroads and not knowing which way would be the best to venture down.
I am struggling to have faith.
I am struggling with truly knowing that God is good.
I am having trouble being honest with myself.
I am having trouble being honest with others.
I am struggling with trusting myself and knowing whether or not I should trust myself.
If I can't trust myself, I am not sure how I can trust others.
I am waiting for someone to see the cracking veneer and pick up the pieces for me.
I know that no one will do that.
I have an intense longing to be more than I am right now, but I am can't comprehend that I have the freedom to be more in this instant.
Every day is an intense struggle just to keep going, hoping that someday it will be better.
I just want to let go.

"Daylight" by Brave Saint Saturn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_u7UqY8K88

"Did you hear the news today?
I'm not coming home, no
And I wished it all away
I felt so alone
and the darkness crept its way
like stars we know will die too soon
There is never any sunrise here in the shadows of eclipsing moons
Crawling on a tightrope,
the bravest thing I have is hope

Daylight, save me
Daylight, save me
Tonight, tonight

Halogen, the lights will flicker
Incadescent burning lies
and the silence stands for nothing
Desperate I search the skies, aching for a spark,
trembling in pitchest dark

Mission Control: U.S.S. Gloria, this is mission control, do you copy?
We have lost contact with the U.S.S. Gloria.

U.S.S. Gloria: Mission Control, this is the U.S.S. Gloria, do you read me?
Mayday, we have lost primary guidance functions.

News Reporter: The crew is now out of radio contact. Presently there is no way for us to know whether they are alive or dead. Our hopes and prayers go out with you all.

Mission Control: U.S.S. Gloria, this is mission control, do you copy?

U.S.S. Gloria: Houston, this is the U.S.S. Gloria.
Good to hear your voice. We are coming out of the eclipse now. I see the sunlight. It's beautiful, the sunlight is beautiful.

Jesus Christ, Light of the World
You never did forget me
And when I bled in darkness, You held me
Still held me
When desperate nights I cursed You
You loved me, still loved me
Jesus Christ, You dry the tears
You break my heart of stone
Your words are life
cut marrow through the darkness, to the bone
A heart of flesh You gave me
Only You can save me

Savior
Daylight
I am coming home

Home! Home! Home! Home."

-Elisa.