"Promise of a Lifetime" by Kutless
I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I'm feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me
[CHORUS:]
I know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime
Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change
I still remember the pledge you made to me
[BRIDGE:]
I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
And I am comforted
Looking back at me
I know that you can see
my heart is open to the promise of a lifetime.
My heart is so torn apart tonight for the people that I love. Yet it is not my love that heals, but Jesus' love. And that's what Christmas is really about, right? And it's not with my strength but His that I can face tomorrow and the future with any certainty that everything will turn out as He has planned. And He will not give me more than I can bear, for He knows my heart and what I can handle. I am His beloved, and He is mine.
Merry Christmas, from my broken, healing heart to yours.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Law and Grace
Sometimes God amazes me with how He works, especially when I am being stubborn and unwilling to submit to Him. He is still faithful and still provides for me, despite my keen sense of pride and entitlement and my lack of thankfulness. His grace and mercy amaze me.
I am thinking of this tonight because every time I have attended Beulah Alliance Church, the pastor has spoken about subjects that I have journalled about and prayed over in the past week or even just in the few hours before church starts. Yesterday I wrote in my journal, "God, whenever I read Your Word, my eyes skip right over the grace and get straight to the condemnation." Tonight Pastor Taylor was preaching on Romans 7:14-25, in which Paul is trying to figure out why he still struggles with sin in his life when he desperately wants to be free from it. I have found myself in the same place in the past few weeks because there are some sins and temptations in my life that I struggle with almost daily, yet I don't want to do them anymore. I don't want to sin anymore, yet I find myself slipping back into it far too often. Daily, in fact.
Pastor Taylor was talking about the fact that we cannot free ourselves from sin because we don't have the power. However, Christ does and He has given us that power. We need to work at not sinning but do so through the strength that Christ provides for us when we become His children. By cultivating our relationships with Christ himself and focusing on Him, we will find ourselves struggling less. God wants you to love Him more than He wants you to "keep rules" because rules rarely create a deep sense of love or adoration for the person administering them. When we fall more and more in love with the Author and Perfector of our faith, we will find ourselves more in-tune with what pleases and displeases Him and we will want to work towards perfection out of a desire to please God, not appease Him.
God has grace that is unending and He wants to extend it to us. He doesn't want us to be bogged down by sin and feel as though we need to clean ourselves up before we can come to His throne and admit our folly. He yearns to give us freedom from our burdens and to show us how truly beloved we are.
Romans 8:1 offers such hope after the bleak reality of our inability to overcome sin totally while on earth. "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus." I cling to this verse when I see my shortcomings and I need to bring my sin and temptations to Christ because He desires to help me and to see me become the woman of God that I am designed to be. It is scary to think that we are made for greatness because it is easier to be mediocre. But that is another whole topic that I won't get into right now. I can only do these things through God, whose power is made perfect in my weakness.
Well, that's all my ruminating for this evening. I hope I didn't write anything heretical or theologically unsound.
Elisa.
I am thinking of this tonight because every time I have attended Beulah Alliance Church, the pastor has spoken about subjects that I have journalled about and prayed over in the past week or even just in the few hours before church starts. Yesterday I wrote in my journal, "God, whenever I read Your Word, my eyes skip right over the grace and get straight to the condemnation." Tonight Pastor Taylor was preaching on Romans 7:14-25, in which Paul is trying to figure out why he still struggles with sin in his life when he desperately wants to be free from it. I have found myself in the same place in the past few weeks because there are some sins and temptations in my life that I struggle with almost daily, yet I don't want to do them anymore. I don't want to sin anymore, yet I find myself slipping back into it far too often. Daily, in fact.
Pastor Taylor was talking about the fact that we cannot free ourselves from sin because we don't have the power. However, Christ does and He has given us that power. We need to work at not sinning but do so through the strength that Christ provides for us when we become His children. By cultivating our relationships with Christ himself and focusing on Him, we will find ourselves struggling less. God wants you to love Him more than He wants you to "keep rules" because rules rarely create a deep sense of love or adoration for the person administering them. When we fall more and more in love with the Author and Perfector of our faith, we will find ourselves more in-tune with what pleases and displeases Him and we will want to work towards perfection out of a desire to please God, not appease Him.
God has grace that is unending and He wants to extend it to us. He doesn't want us to be bogged down by sin and feel as though we need to clean ourselves up before we can come to His throne and admit our folly. He yearns to give us freedom from our burdens and to show us how truly beloved we are.
Romans 8:1 offers such hope after the bleak reality of our inability to overcome sin totally while on earth. "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus." I cling to this verse when I see my shortcomings and I need to bring my sin and temptations to Christ because He desires to help me and to see me become the woman of God that I am designed to be. It is scary to think that we are made for greatness because it is easier to be mediocre. But that is another whole topic that I won't get into right now. I can only do these things through God, whose power is made perfect in my weakness.
Well, that's all my ruminating for this evening. I hope I didn't write anything heretical or theologically unsound.
Elisa.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Here
Hearts emptied, bared before
the throne of Heaven
Shaking in fear and shame
for my wickedness and nakedness
In this moment, I am Adam.
I am Eve.
I was never perfect, though made
in God's image,
but their sin is my own
As I lay before my LORD God,
at His feet where I recognize fully
my unworthiness,
I am transformed
The barrenness is negated
and the sins committed every minute
are wiped away
as He reaches out His hands
There is silence here
I rest solely on His grace,
His compassion, mercy, and love
As my soul rests from screaming,
from railing against itself,
I find relief and comfort
Every emotion is heightened
yet it is not overwhelming,
rather it is relaxing
For here, and only here,
I am safe
I wrote this on August 31, 2008 and felt like sharing it again.
-Elisa.
the throne of Heaven
Shaking in fear and shame
for my wickedness and nakedness
In this moment, I am Adam.
I am Eve.
I was never perfect, though made
in God's image,
but their sin is my own
As I lay before my LORD God,
at His feet where I recognize fully
my unworthiness,
I am transformed
The barrenness is negated
and the sins committed every minute
are wiped away
as He reaches out His hands
There is silence here
I rest solely on His grace,
His compassion, mercy, and love
As my soul rests from screaming,
from railing against itself,
I find relief and comfort
Every emotion is heightened
yet it is not overwhelming,
rather it is relaxing
For here, and only here,
I am safe
I wrote this on August 31, 2008 and felt like sharing it again.
-Elisa.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
hands and feet.
Often I wonder how I could possibly change the world when I am such a small person with so many fears. I hear the words in my heart "change the world" but I do not know what the first step in that mission would be.
This year seems like such a waste right now because I am not doing anything. I find myself wondering whether or not I should even be in this program and taking these classes because I cannot see any purpose to it right now. Of course there is the purpose of finding a job after I graduate in April, but there has to be a larger reason for this time of training. I am frustrated because I want to be out on adventures and conquering the world for Christ, instead of wading through pages of legal cases about ruptured spleens and soft tissue damage. I love what I am learning but I want practical, hands-on application for it. I want to be out saving the world, not sitting behind a desk.
I find myself longingly studying applications for internships with International Justice Missions and the A21 Campaign instead of wanting to work on homework. I don't even know if God has an internship overseas in His plans for me, but I hope and pray that He does. I read stories of girls being trafficked for prostitution and my heart breaks and the only thing that I can think is "Take me there, God. Just take me there so I can hold them and help them and heal them somehow! Let me be Jesus to them."
Following quickly on the heels of those prayers, though, are the ever-present thoughts that I am not strong enough to go overseas, I am not knowledgeable enough of international legal processes, I am not called to go and my pride is just telling me to go. The list is a long one and it makes me doubt this passion in my heart for justice to be done and for these girls to be freed to know what love is. Who am I to go on a mission such as this? But despite all my fears, I want to go. I want to be Jesus' hands and feet in whatever capacity He would have for me.
Take me there, Jesus.
-Elisa.
This year seems like such a waste right now because I am not doing anything. I find myself wondering whether or not I should even be in this program and taking these classes because I cannot see any purpose to it right now. Of course there is the purpose of finding a job after I graduate in April, but there has to be a larger reason for this time of training. I am frustrated because I want to be out on adventures and conquering the world for Christ, instead of wading through pages of legal cases about ruptured spleens and soft tissue damage. I love what I am learning but I want practical, hands-on application for it. I want to be out saving the world, not sitting behind a desk.
I find myself longingly studying applications for internships with International Justice Missions and the A21 Campaign instead of wanting to work on homework. I don't even know if God has an internship overseas in His plans for me, but I hope and pray that He does. I read stories of girls being trafficked for prostitution and my heart breaks and the only thing that I can think is "Take me there, God. Just take me there so I can hold them and help them and heal them somehow! Let me be Jesus to them."
Following quickly on the heels of those prayers, though, are the ever-present thoughts that I am not strong enough to go overseas, I am not knowledgeable enough of international legal processes, I am not called to go and my pride is just telling me to go. The list is a long one and it makes me doubt this passion in my heart for justice to be done and for these girls to be freed to know what love is. Who am I to go on a mission such as this? But despite all my fears, I want to go. I want to be Jesus' hands and feet in whatever capacity He would have for me.
Take me there, Jesus.
-Elisa.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Daylight, Save Me.
I am having trouble analyzing what I am feeling lately so I have avoided writing because I don't want to ramble and leave everyone else confused, as well. However, I find myself at a point right now where I cannot figure out what is going on by myself.
I am confused, hurt, desperate.
I am lost and wishing someone would stop by the roadside and be the good Samaritan.
I am stuck at this dead end in my head, staring at the crossroads and not knowing which way would be the best to venture down.
I am struggling to have faith.
I am struggling with truly knowing that God is good.
I am having trouble being honest with myself.
I am having trouble being honest with others.
I am struggling with trusting myself and knowing whether or not I should trust myself.
If I can't trust myself, I am not sure how I can trust others.
I am waiting for someone to see the cracking veneer and pick up the pieces for me.
I know that no one will do that.
I have an intense longing to be more than I am right now, but I am can't comprehend that I have the freedom to be more in this instant.
Every day is an intense struggle just to keep going, hoping that someday it will be better.
I just want to let go.
"Daylight" by Brave Saint Saturn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_u7UqY8K88
"Did you hear the news today?
I'm not coming home, no
And I wished it all away
I felt so alone
and the darkness crept its way
like stars we know will die too soon
There is never any sunrise here in the shadows of eclipsing moons
Crawling on a tightrope,
the bravest thing I have is hope
Daylight, save me
Daylight, save me
Tonight, tonight
Halogen, the lights will flicker
Incadescent burning lies
and the silence stands for nothing
Desperate I search the skies, aching for a spark,
trembling in pitchest dark
Mission Control: U.S.S. Gloria, this is mission control, do you copy?
We have lost contact with the U.S.S. Gloria.
U.S.S. Gloria: Mission Control, this is the U.S.S. Gloria, do you read me?
Mayday, we have lost primary guidance functions.
News Reporter: The crew is now out of radio contact. Presently there is no way for us to know whether they are alive or dead. Our hopes and prayers go out with you all.
Mission Control: U.S.S. Gloria, this is mission control, do you copy?
U.S.S. Gloria: Houston, this is the U.S.S. Gloria.
Good to hear your voice. We are coming out of the eclipse now. I see the sunlight. It's beautiful, the sunlight is beautiful.
Jesus Christ, Light of the World
You never did forget me
And when I bled in darkness, You held me
Still held me
When desperate nights I cursed You
You loved me, still loved me
Jesus Christ, You dry the tears
You break my heart of stone
Your words are life
cut marrow through the darkness, to the bone
A heart of flesh You gave me
Only You can save me
Savior
Daylight
I am coming home
Home! Home! Home! Home."
-Elisa.
I am confused, hurt, desperate.
I am lost and wishing someone would stop by the roadside and be the good Samaritan.
I am stuck at this dead end in my head, staring at the crossroads and not knowing which way would be the best to venture down.
I am struggling to have faith.
I am struggling with truly knowing that God is good.
I am having trouble being honest with myself.
I am having trouble being honest with others.
I am struggling with trusting myself and knowing whether or not I should trust myself.
If I can't trust myself, I am not sure how I can trust others.
I am waiting for someone to see the cracking veneer and pick up the pieces for me.
I know that no one will do that.
I have an intense longing to be more than I am right now, but I am can't comprehend that I have the freedom to be more in this instant.
Every day is an intense struggle just to keep going, hoping that someday it will be better.
I just want to let go.
"Daylight" by Brave Saint Saturn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_u7UqY8K88
"Did you hear the news today?
I'm not coming home, no
And I wished it all away
I felt so alone
and the darkness crept its way
like stars we know will die too soon
There is never any sunrise here in the shadows of eclipsing moons
Crawling on a tightrope,
the bravest thing I have is hope
Daylight, save me
Daylight, save me
Tonight, tonight
Halogen, the lights will flicker
Incadescent burning lies
and the silence stands for nothing
Desperate I search the skies, aching for a spark,
trembling in pitchest dark
Mission Control: U.S.S. Gloria, this is mission control, do you copy?
We have lost contact with the U.S.S. Gloria.
U.S.S. Gloria: Mission Control, this is the U.S.S. Gloria, do you read me?
Mayday, we have lost primary guidance functions.
News Reporter: The crew is now out of radio contact. Presently there is no way for us to know whether they are alive or dead. Our hopes and prayers go out with you all.
Mission Control: U.S.S. Gloria, this is mission control, do you copy?
U.S.S. Gloria: Houston, this is the U.S.S. Gloria.
Good to hear your voice. We are coming out of the eclipse now. I see the sunlight. It's beautiful, the sunlight is beautiful.
Jesus Christ, Light of the World
You never did forget me
And when I bled in darkness, You held me
Still held me
When desperate nights I cursed You
You loved me, still loved me
Jesus Christ, You dry the tears
You break my heart of stone
Your words are life
cut marrow through the darkness, to the bone
A heart of flesh You gave me
Only You can save me
Savior
Daylight
I am coming home
Home! Home! Home! Home."
-Elisa.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Beloved
Jesus has been reminding me lately that I am His beloved, and that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Light. I have been driven to my knees so often in the past few days just so I can inhale the next breath and keep walking forward. I have fallen on my face in anguish more often than I would like to admit. I have been broken and totally vulnerable in front of more people than I would like to count. I am raw and in a million pieces. But God brings peace to my heart and reminds me of His love, grace, and that this world is not my home. He reminds me that He has greater plans for me than these moments and months of pain. When I cry out to Him and ask Him how much longer this will last, He simply says, "Possibly every night for the next year. But do you trust Me? Do you trust Me, Elisa?" Oh me of little faith.
I have been praying in the last few days that Jesus would call me by name. That He would He would simply say, "Elisa." How do I describe the yearning that I have for the Lover of my soul to call me by name in the same way that He called to Mary Magdalene in the garden after He rose from the grave? How do I describe the longing for that intimate acknowledgment that I am His and all He must do is say my name for me to recognize Him for who He is? I want to breathe His name and feel His peace and love flood my soul with light. I want to love Him, and I want to love Him well. I want to take my over-abundance of love that others have rejected and pour it onto His feet, like a broken alabastar jar of perfume that Mary Magdalene washed His feet with. I want to Him to flood my being and be my centre of gravity that I revolve around. I want Jesus to be my everything, my all, my reason for being. I am so scared, as well, because I know that I will fail my Jesus, my Saviour. But He took care of those failings already and so I want to fling myself onto His grace, knowing that He wants to remove my shortcomings and sins. I want to be free to dance with my Jesus and serenade Him with love songs. I want to regain the passion that I have lost or misplaced.
This weekend was such a mixture of emotions and thoughts. My heart was overflowing with joy for Heather as she walked down the aisle to her Chad. The very next moment, my heart was breaking again for the dreams that I have lost this summer. I laughed so hard this weekend that my abs still hurt; I cried so much that I have no tears left to shed. There was the beginning of a new life together for Chad and Heather and the ending of some dreams and hopes that I held tightly in my fists. And God ordained it all. He planned every step of these intertwining paths, knowing exactly the emotions, thoughts, and prayers that would go into every part of this weekend. He perfectly juxtaposed everything and provided me with my Prairie friends to pick me up when I fell. He filled me with the love that I had been missing so desperately and showed me again what a community is.
Maybe God allowed me to fall in love with someone on earth to show me how much greater it is to fall in love with Jesus. Once upon a time when I was sixteen, I talked with a friend about how I needed to let go of certain dreams that I held onto much too tightly. God was trying to pry back my stubborn fingers and I refused to let go, but He was also bringing me to a moment of surrender. My friend told me, "You can't give up all of your dreams because then you'll be left with nothing." My response was, "How can I be left with nothing when I am letting go of my dreams and following God's plans?" I am still learning this lesson and I am certain that I will be for many more years. I do not surrender my dreams easily, even when God asks me to let go. The last dream that I refused to let surrender, He wrenched from my grasp in such a way that it shook my entire world. God truly left me with nothing except Himself, and He has been bringing everything back to Him this summer. When God shook my world, I was physically dizzy for about a week because I had removed God from being my centre of gravity and then God had removed my replacement centre of gravity. And, through a friend, God told me that He is a jealous God and He will not tolerate being second. So I struggle to put Him first. I fail daily. But "therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ." (Romans 8:1) Hallelujah.
So Jesus and I will journey onward into the pain, the healing, and the light.
"Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP9pftLiVRA
Love of my life,
look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life,
lust and the lies,
the past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me
You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery
Love of my life,
look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me yeah now
You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
and Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
and it binds you to me yea now now
Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride?
You will drink of my lips
And taste new life
You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
it binds you to me
You're my beloved
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery
-Elisa.
I have been praying in the last few days that Jesus would call me by name. That He would He would simply say, "Elisa." How do I describe the yearning that I have for the Lover of my soul to call me by name in the same way that He called to Mary Magdalene in the garden after He rose from the grave? How do I describe the longing for that intimate acknowledgment that I am His and all He must do is say my name for me to recognize Him for who He is? I want to breathe His name and feel His peace and love flood my soul with light. I want to love Him, and I want to love Him well. I want to take my over-abundance of love that others have rejected and pour it onto His feet, like a broken alabastar jar of perfume that Mary Magdalene washed His feet with. I want to Him to flood my being and be my centre of gravity that I revolve around. I want Jesus to be my everything, my all, my reason for being. I am so scared, as well, because I know that I will fail my Jesus, my Saviour. But He took care of those failings already and so I want to fling myself onto His grace, knowing that He wants to remove my shortcomings and sins. I want to be free to dance with my Jesus and serenade Him with love songs. I want to regain the passion that I have lost or misplaced.
This weekend was such a mixture of emotions and thoughts. My heart was overflowing with joy for Heather as she walked down the aisle to her Chad. The very next moment, my heart was breaking again for the dreams that I have lost this summer. I laughed so hard this weekend that my abs still hurt; I cried so much that I have no tears left to shed. There was the beginning of a new life together for Chad and Heather and the ending of some dreams and hopes that I held tightly in my fists. And God ordained it all. He planned every step of these intertwining paths, knowing exactly the emotions, thoughts, and prayers that would go into every part of this weekend. He perfectly juxtaposed everything and provided me with my Prairie friends to pick me up when I fell. He filled me with the love that I had been missing so desperately and showed me again what a community is.
Maybe God allowed me to fall in love with someone on earth to show me how much greater it is to fall in love with Jesus. Once upon a time when I was sixteen, I talked with a friend about how I needed to let go of certain dreams that I held onto much too tightly. God was trying to pry back my stubborn fingers and I refused to let go, but He was also bringing me to a moment of surrender. My friend told me, "You can't give up all of your dreams because then you'll be left with nothing." My response was, "How can I be left with nothing when I am letting go of my dreams and following God's plans?" I am still learning this lesson and I am certain that I will be for many more years. I do not surrender my dreams easily, even when God asks me to let go. The last dream that I refused to let surrender, He wrenched from my grasp in such a way that it shook my entire world. God truly left me with nothing except Himself, and He has been bringing everything back to Him this summer. When God shook my world, I was physically dizzy for about a week because I had removed God from being my centre of gravity and then God had removed my replacement centre of gravity. And, through a friend, God told me that He is a jealous God and He will not tolerate being second. So I struggle to put Him first. I fail daily. But "therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ." (Romans 8:1) Hallelujah.
So Jesus and I will journey onward into the pain, the healing, and the light.
"Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP9pftLiVRA
Love of my life,
look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life,
lust and the lies,
the past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me
You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery
Love of my life,
look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me yeah now
You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
and Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
and it binds you to me yea now now
Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride?
You will drink of my lips
And taste new life
You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
it binds you to me
You're my beloved
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery
-Elisa.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Anberlin Makes Everything Better
"(The Symphony of) Blasé" by Anberlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-uHZhlbxaM
"Are there no shadows where you are?
I can see everything as day
Problems that you try to hide away
Pushing me aside (You're pushing me aside)
Could the winter calm come twice?
Because your heart seems so cold tonight
Thirst for substance somehow isn't right
It's killing me inside (It's killing you inside)
Killing me inside
I don't wanna be where you are
I don't wanna be here even now
I don't wanna be by your side
something isn't right
something isn't right
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
Words have no meaning
When I've seen where you've been
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
This is our last goodbye
This is where love ends
Are you so naive to right and wrong
How could you watch innocence forgone
Does what we've done ever really belong?
It wasted me away (I feel so wasted away)
God if you can hear me out alright
Please take these feelings for her inside
My chest hurts when I breathe tonight
It's wasting me away (You're wasting me away)
You're wasting me away
I don't wanna be where you are
I don't wanna be here even now
I don't wanna be by your side
something isn't right
something isn't right
This is our last (This is our last)
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
Words have no meaning
When I've seen where you've been
This our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
This is our last goodbye
This is where love ends
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
Words have no meaning
When I've seen where you've been
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
This is our last goodbye
This is where love ends"
This song has been stuck in my head for the last few days. I've been thinking a lot about why relationships end, but I don't have any real answers. God must have a purpose, but I cannot see what it is right now. So I wait.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-uHZhlbxaM
"Are there no shadows where you are?
I can see everything as day
Problems that you try to hide away
Pushing me aside (You're pushing me aside)
Could the winter calm come twice?
Because your heart seems so cold tonight
Thirst for substance somehow isn't right
It's killing me inside (It's killing you inside)
Killing me inside
I don't wanna be where you are
I don't wanna be here even now
I don't wanna be by your side
something isn't right
something isn't right
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
Words have no meaning
When I've seen where you've been
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
This is our last goodbye
This is where love ends
Are you so naive to right and wrong
How could you watch innocence forgone
Does what we've done ever really belong?
It wasted me away (I feel so wasted away)
God if you can hear me out alright
Please take these feelings for her inside
My chest hurts when I breathe tonight
It's wasting me away (You're wasting me away)
You're wasting me away
I don't wanna be where you are
I don't wanna be here even now
I don't wanna be by your side
something isn't right
something isn't right
This is our last (This is our last)
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
Words have no meaning
When I've seen where you've been
This our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
This is our last goodbye
This is where love ends
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
Words have no meaning
When I've seen where you've been
This is our last goodnight
Say what you will
Say all that you can
This is our last goodbye
This is where love ends"
This song has been stuck in my head for the last few days. I've been thinking a lot about why relationships end, but I don't have any real answers. God must have a purpose, but I cannot see what it is right now. So I wait.
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