Standing Stones

Tonight I feel like I'm drowning under the pain and lost in this ocean of questions without answers and dreams that don't have an ending. I don't understand what God is doing right now and I am constantly trying to figure out what I need to do to "fix" this. But every time that I think about what I could do, God gently but firmly reminds me that He wants me to be still and know that He is God. That He wants me to trust Him and simply know that I am resting in His arms and walking in His will, even though everything seems so very dark these days.

I wrote this poem just over a year ago and I found it again a couple of days ago when I was cleaning out my room. It seems applicable now more than it did when I wrote it.

The darkness is warm,
even though it is full of negative connotations
Here I must simply walk;
I cannot run for I will fall
But when I walk, there is comfort
because when I walk, I trust

And, looking back, it is lighter
so I can see my standing stones*
They testify to His provision,
saving me from the wilderness
and the desolation of myself

Now I walk on, holding to nothing
but knowing my Lifeline
Even when I grope for a stronghold
and cry out as I stumble,
there is a peacefulness that calms me
and I can walk on,
knowing I am walking in the light,
even though it is dark

*The Jewish people erected standing stones as monuments to things God had done for them (i.e., battles won, plagues removed, etc.) to remind themselves of His provision when it seemed as though He wasn't favoring them.